ENCOURAGEMENT WEEK 5: WORDS UNITE
You’ve wrapped up four weeks of focusing on the ways you speak to everyone in your home. Through all the moments - great, awkward, hard, or funny - you’ve been establishing new patterns in your family’s culture. I want to keep reminding you: habits, patterns, and culture are not created in a moment. They’re established through consistency over time.
You’re doing a great job just by showing up and trying. Keep at it! Keep repeating these steps. I’ve also got a secret for you, or maybe you know it already. As you’ve been stepping into these weekly tasks, your family is seeing you more as a leader than they did before. For some of you that’s new, and for some it’s a continuation. Wherever you are, I would guess your partner and children like what you’ve been doing. Whether they would voice it yet or not, they want to follow you in it. You’ve started the most effective kind of leadership there is: modeling values by living them yourself. Keep it up!
So far we’ve explored how words give life, give identity, restore and inspire. Now, we turn to ways words unite us. Having unity within a group is a beautiful thing. Now that you’ve modeled speaking to your family in positive ways it’s time to invite them into that with you.
Many companies use some form of strategic management to remove waste, focus on efficiency and improve outputs. One such management program is called Lean Management. Companies like Toyota, Nike, and others who do large scale manufacturing use some variation of Lean and Six Sigma. There’s a saying in Lean which goes something like (paraphrased): “Hear together, to understand together, to act together.”
You’ve been speaking to your family in one-on-one settings, giving individuals messages that build them up. This week you’ll lead them in doing this together. This will invite them into what you’ve been building.
Weekly Assignment:
Gather together at the table, your living room, or wherever your family can be together. Then, select one family member to be the “star” of the moment, and take turns saying something positive you each like, admire, or notice about them. Depending on how many family members you have, you may want to select one a day or do several. If younger siblings have a hard time thinking of things that’s ok. They can be helped with some hints. When my kids were younger, I’d whisper ideas into their heads or huddle with them in another room to let them think with me. Giving them warning ahead of time, and letting them write down some thoughts can also help if you have any kids who don’t like being put “on the spot.”
By the end of the week everyone (yourself and your partner included) should take a turn being the “star” and receiving praise from the family. This is going to do a few things:
You’re inviting them into the habit of encouraging each other
As they hear these words they’re going to be reminded of positive things about each other and it will stir feelings of respect and admiration
The whole family will be brought together following you and supporting each other
Don’t worry if this feels awkward or if there are moments people “brain freeze.” The point isn’t for this to go perfectly. It’s just to keep building those new patterns and to bring you all together. Have fun with it!